Are Client’s Limitations The Problem? Or That They Believe They’re True?

We human beings are funny creatures.  Just because something arises in our mind – be it a thought or a feeling – we tend to assume it is telling us the truth.

So we accept our thought or emotion as accurate  which closes the door to perusing other possible interpretations to the experience.

This automatic assumption of accuracy leads us to believe the thought or feeling is the truth … and then we act accordingly, displaying behaviors from love and compassion to hate and violence.

People rarely take the time to make a distinction between a thought or feeling being accurate  vs. being valid.  Yet this little moment of inquiry can save oodles of time, drama, and suffering.

file0002125234983Accuracy implies a final truth.  No matter how I look at it, the answer is always the same.  There’s no variation and nothing else could change the fact of it.

Validity implies that if I stood in your shoes, I could also feel or think the same thing because that’s how things actually look from that point of view. 

When you can see things from multiple points of view, you can see for yourself that each viewpoint is indeed valid, but not accurate, or a final truth.

You discover all viewpoints are also incomplete. They lack the whole picture that truth requires by virtue of the fact that viewpoints only reflect the single view that naturally arises from the point where you’re standing.

Change where you’re standing, and your view changes automatically.

This is a powerful understanding to keep in mind, not only for your clients, but also for yourself.

Whether it’s overt or covert, helping your clients expand their perceptual flexibility (freedom to peruse multiple viewpoints) can speed up their ability to release limiting beliefs. This skill will move them forward more efficiently in their exploration of how to better live their lives.

What Can You Do?

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How To Observe Your Drama vs. Being In It

Many times, you can feel yourself being assaulted by memories of the past.  I say assaulted because it feels as if you’re being forced to re-experience them completely.

And, in fact, you actually are.  You have been transported right back into the event and are thus subject to all the ups and downs of the experience.

Now if it’s a pleasant experience, it’s usually sweet; unless it catapults you into nostalgia or grief at its loss.  If it’s an unpleasant or painful experience to begin with, it’s definitely not fun, and often not even useful, to revisit the event in this way.

Your experience of these past events (whether positive or negative) reflects the development of one of two basic life skills you are wise to develop. If you want to continue learning how to live a happier, more mindful and engaging daily life, these skills are essential – for both you and your clients.

The Two Basic Skills Everyone Can Consciously Develop

Being able to go back into the past and re-experience an event is a powerful and useful skill.  However, if you don’t realize that you’re using this skill, it can make the past seen more present and more difficult to handle.

The balancing skill is the ability to step out of an event and free yourself from having to experience the emotions, thoughts, and perspectives associated with it.

These two skills are essential to measuring our capacity to be happy human beings.

To be fully alive is to first: have experiences.  Second is to gain the wisdom and insight tucked deep within those experiences.DSCN5220

Can you consciously step into an event and access the thoughts, emotions, and perspectives it carries?

Can you consciously step out of an event and see it from an observer/neutral position thus gaining access to a new perspective on the event?

Once you have developed these skills for yourself, you can more easily recognize their presence, or absence, in your clients. People struggling  Continue reading

Know How To Quickly Deplete The Power Of Limiting Beliefs?

Did you know that a limiting belief only becomes truly powerful when you feel it in your body  as a truth?

You see, it is the amount of emotional charge attached to a belief, regardless of whether the belief is limiting or empowering, that changes it from just an idea into the feeling  or experience of it as a truthful statement or accurate assessment.

Imagine one of your undesirable beliefs with a big suitcase attached to it. And imagine that suitcase is filled with a ton of feelings that make the suitcase very heavy and painful to carry around.

Now pull up an empowering belief that you also feel in your body  is a truth. As you feel that truth, imagine a similar suitcase attached to it. And notice that this one is also filled with a ton of feelings. But the difference is that this suitcase feels very light and affects you more like a helium balloon that lifts you up and gives a bounce to your step.

In the case of the problematic limiting belief, you may be clear intellectually that the belief is not the truth; but despite that knowledge, it continues to feel like ‘truth’ in your body. And this ‘truth’ dictates how you perceive, and thus, react, to whatever situation you’re facing – and your possibilities within it.

For example, think of a time when you stood in front of someone you thought was totally 1-IMG_7056 gorgeous or drop dead handsome, so much so that you knew with stunning clarity that you were out of your league.

Remember your reaction? How you felt yourself shrinking or trying to hide? The awful feeling of knowing there was no hope of anything happening here? Did you feel embarrassed or start stumbling over your words with shyness?

What is the key to changing this kind of painful predicament and its hurtful consequences arising from the limiting belief thought to be a truth? It’s much easier than you might think. Continue reading