Are Client’s Limitations The Problem? Or That They Believe They’re True?

We human beings are funny creatures.  Just because something arises in our mind – be it a thought or a feeling – we tend to assume it is telling us the truth.

So we accept our thought or emotion as accurate  which closes the door to perusing other possible interpretations to the experience.

This automatic assumption of accuracy leads us to believe the thought or feeling is the truth … and then we act accordingly, displaying behaviors from love and compassion to hate and violence.

People rarely take the time to make a distinction between a thought or feeling being accurate  vs. being valid.  Yet this little moment of inquiry can save oodles of time, drama, and suffering.

file0002125234983Accuracy implies a final truth.  No matter how I look at it, the answer is always the same.  There’s no variation and nothing else could change the fact of it.

Validity implies that if I stood in your shoes, I could also feel or think the same thing because that’s how things actually look from that point of view. 

When you can see things from multiple points of view, you can see for yourself that each viewpoint is indeed valid, but not accurate, or a final truth.

You discover all viewpoints are also incomplete. They lack the whole picture that truth requires by virtue of the fact that viewpoints only reflect the single view that naturally arises from the point where you’re standing.

Change where you’re standing, and your view changes automatically.

This is a powerful understanding to keep in mind, not only for your clients, but also for yourself.

Whether it’s overt or covert, helping your clients expand their perceptual flexibility (freedom to peruse multiple viewpoints) can speed up their ability to release limiting beliefs. This skill will move them forward more efficiently in their exploration of how to better live their lives.

What Can You Do?

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Want To Be A Healer? But … Is It Really Possible To Heal Another?

The best answer I’ve ever found to this question is the word ‘Po’, coined by Edward DeBono, a modern non-Aristotelian logician.

‘Po’ means neither yes nor no. It means you are neither for nor against either possibility. It means moving beyond the no of logic (that leads you to the right answer), and the yes of belief systems (that make you feel you have the right answer).


‘Po’ positions you in the space surrounding either yes or no as the right answer.

‘Po’ deposits you at the home address of true creativity; that point of power where two opposites meet and merge into a new whole, a new insight, or a new guideline.



What Does This Have To Do With Healing?

Well, here’s the thing. The safest position to take on this question is ‘Po’. Let’s take a look at why I say this.

On the one hand, it sure looks like healers heal others when healing is defined as taking away painbutterfly-on-leaves-in-sun and suffering. If it’s physical pain, the release can be accomplished many ways: an aspirin, acupuncture, surgery, repairing broken links between organs, systems and the brain, and many more.

If it’s emotional pain, reducing that emotional challenge is definitely do-able with the newest Energy Psychology techniques such as Callahan Tapping, EFT, TFT, TAT and many others. You can rearrange the configuration of images, sound, and feeling that create the emotion via techniques from NLP or hypnosis in deep or waking trance. And of course, there’s the age old technique of  simply giving someone a hug or just reaching out and gently taking their hand.

If it’s mental pain, releasing fixed points of view that hamper perceptual flexibility can be accomplished by challenging presuppositions, introducing new models of meaning and purpose, or a simple re-education of how things actually work, like relationships or the fact that consequences are the other side of the coin of accountability.

So clearly healers can release pain in a variety of ways. Yet, here’s where a much more important question emerges; a question far more important for you as the healer than for the one being healed.

Who Is Doing The Healing?
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Got A Great Model For Mental Health & Emotional Well-Being?

Ever wish you knew just a little bit more than you do?  Heard someone talking about something and had to pretend you were up on it?  Wished you had the time and energy to take on learning something new?  Felt a little like you’d fallen behind and might not ever catch up with the newest in your field?

If so, our Blog is for you.

The personal growth industry has become quite prolific in its offering of multiple ways to arrive at good mental health and emotional well-being.  There is so much, you can easily feel left behind and a bit confused about what might be best to explore. So how do you decide which offering is the most valuable?

The thing is – every model has something of value to offer – especially if you’re a coach, counselor, therapist, or hypnotherapist. The more models within your grasp, the greater probability you will have something that fits your client.

This is truly important, for it frees you from making the most common, and often the most hurtful, mistake of our profession: trying to fit your client into the one or two models you’ve chosen to learn – rather than finding the one that fits your client best.  And this can happen whether you’re just starting out, or the consummate, seasoned professional.

Our desire at To Help You Help Others is to expand your awareness of all the models in today’s marketplace for both mental health and emotional well-being.  We’ll show you how learning new ways of approaching old problems will not only refresh a possibly waning interest, but increase your success rate and the frequency of seeing your client’s eyes light up with delight and wonder at how they’ve reached their goal.

Here are just a few examples of things there is to learn:  Know How To:pic-context-content-user-660x450

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