Avoiding These 3 Ideas Supercharge Efficient Communication

Today’s clients want change fast which means efficient communication. In our everyday world, speed has become king. And personal growth is not immune to this desire.

Speed is in high demand. And on top of that, you may find yourself dealing with time constraints also imposed on the client’s desire for personal growth & professional development.

This reality is forcing coaches to learn how to work faster, more efficiently, and most important, remain as effective as ever in producing long term results.

The key to handling this conundrum is discovering and embracing the art of rapport.

Efficient communication can be disrupted when you become:

      • Secretly ambivalent about seeing new clients
      • Nervous about starting to get your coaching career off the ground
      • At a loss to understand why a very ‘easy’ client suddenly became ‘difficult’
      • Sensing you lost your client somewhere along the way and don’t know why or how
      • Afraid to take on a client who seems resistant to doing the work, yet wants the change they’re asking for
      • Exasperated, but suddenly confident that person falls into the category of being  ‘uncoachable’
      • Certain your client isn’t ‘ready’ to do the work they need to do to get the change they want

Without The Skill To Develop & Maintain Rapport
You Can Reach Unhelpful Conclusions

These concerns have contributed to the development of three very unhelpful notions that block efficient communication. And my concern is that these ideas have become all too prevalent, and accepted as true, in the world of coaching.

Because these ideas provide the coach with a reason for the appearance of all of the above stated concerns, they have the power to interrupt the coaching process, often before it truly begins.

When left unchallenged, these ideas can become the stated reason why the coach is not able to get the client to their stated goal – leaving you, the coach, (and your client) feeling a bit lost, confused, and frustrated.

When a coach embraces these three ideas as the ‘truth’ about their client, the coach’s value and usefulness to the client can quickly fade into the background.

And this also leaves the coach feeling less than great about their skill, and often doubting their competence & capabilities.

Are you feeling a little pressured because clients are generally expecting quick results? If so, you may be at the effect of these 3 pervasive ideas.  They can 1) disrupt efficient communication, 2)  stymie your success and 3) cut you off from your professional creative power.


The 3 Ideas Sure To Disrupt Efficient Communication 

Too frequently I hear the following 3 notions as the reason a client is not reaching their goal. And, why the coach is helpless to make it different.

      • The first most pervasive notion is that it is possible for a client to be ‘un-coachable’.

      • The second most pervasive notion is that the client isn’t ready to make the change they say they want.

      • And the third most pervasive notion is that the client doesn’t really want to change.

These all translate into the notion that somehow the problem is with the client. And that may or may not be the reality of the situation.

With the proper skills, these three ideas lose their power and sense of truthfulness.

This skill-set frees the coach to dive into the what is now an open book – and help the client keep moving toward their goal.

 

All clients automatically become ‘coachable’ when you know how to establish rapport with their unconscious mind.


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Are You Aware of Rapport’s Slippery Reality?

Everyone in this business knows that rapport is the bottom line IF you want to get the change the client is asking for. But we don’t always stay tuned into rapport throughout the course of a session – and THAT creates more problems than almost anything else.

Most of us define rapport as something that happens when two folks can relate to each other, connect, or feel safe; in other words, when you like each other. In the world of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), rapport is defined as your connection, or lack of it, with the unconscious mind – not whether the client likes you, or feels safe with you.

Your first job is to create rapport with the client’s unconscious mind – and then sustain it. Or, what I have found to be even more important, knowing when rapport gets broken and how to re-establish it on the spot!

How do you get an unconscious mind to feel safe with you? Not necessarily by being nice and kind, or looking and sounding understanding. The unconscious mind knows that you see it when you reflect back its own patterns.

We all easily relate to people we feel are the same as us. We assume because they are so similar, they can understand us and that creates a feeling of safety – as if we’re in the presence of a member of our own tribe.

NLP is widely known for teaching students to create rapport by mirroring their client’s body postures, movements, eye patterns, and language. But the key is knowing how to assess whether or not you succeeded in establishing rapport with the unconscious mind.

Lemon slice with water dropsHow do you do it? Continue reading