Why am I writing about the benefits of NLP training? I’ve been meeting lots of folks recently who are ready to offer a live or on-line program for something they love and want to share. But in chatting with each one, I found the majority did not have any training in how to work with people to help them move toward a certain goal.
I kept getting asked, “Do I need a certification? Do I have to become a student again?” Well, here are a few thoughts to consider.
NLP Training Beneficial To Your Coaching Success? Yes! And No!
There are many reasons to forget about becoming certified. If you’re looking at marketing yourself as a coach, there are currently no hoops you would have to jump through. There are no legal requirements for taking on that title and throwing your hat in the ring.
However, coaching another human being so that they succeed in reaching their goal can be confusing and challenging.
A recent client who was offering a transformation group shared an upsetting experience. She said when she finished her guided visualization during one of the course meetings, a participant revealed that they couldn’t visualize.
The participant shared that she felt frustrated and felt bad because they couldn’t do what my client was asking them to do. And, my point is this.
My client said she didn’t have a clue what to say or what to do next.
This is an excellent example of the kinds of experience a lack of training can produce. This, and so many other tools for communication and connection, are part of what you learn in NLP Coach Certification Training.
Certification Confers Credibility & Possibilities
More people than you think assume their coach must have some kind of training, or they wouldn’t be offering their services. So when they Google you, they’re looking for proof that you’ve completed some training program. Thus, the upside of certification is that you’re automatically granted credibility.
Credentials often free clients from worrying about how long you’ve been in the business, or how good or not so good you might be. So it’s obvious that certification carries a lot of weight because it creates helpful assumptions that usually remain unchallenged.
But most important, certification gives you the actual skill development that most untrained coaches don’t have. So it allows you to have the tools, and the skills to use them. Thus you’re able to give you and your business the great reputation you want to create.
Reputations are important because great reputations bring you new clients, repeat clients, and fabulous referrals. And your skill is what makes this happen.
Are You Talking About Transformation? Or Delivering It?
There are many benefits to NLP training. But one of the greatest is being able to deliver your client to what they know they need; whether they believe they don’t have it, can’t find it, or can’t reach it, even if they’ve experienced it before.
Why is getting started with NLP as soon as possible so important? Because with NLP skills in your back pocket, you catapult yourself toward a very high return on your investment.
And that results in a successful and long term coaching career.
The value of traditional coaching is obvious. Its continued popularity is proof enough. However, often times coaches report feeling they can’t go quite as far in helping their clients as they’d like.
One of my students who was already a traditionally trained coach, recently shared that her client wanted to experience warmth. But she confided to me that she didn’t think writing this on a piece of paper and putting it on the wall would do much to achieve the goal. Nor would affirmations, or creating a strategy to find it. So this experience revealed a gap in her professional training.
And that triggered her getting started with NLP training. When the power and perspectives of Neuro-Linguistic Programming enter the scene, you can count on more easily and quickly being free to save the day.
Getting Clear On What You Know & Don’t Know
As a traditionally trained coach, you become very skilled in the art of asking questions. This is essential in several ways. Questions empower you to do 3 very important things:
Separate inquiry from giving advice
Discover the client’s goal or outcome
Uncover the strategies required to reach the goal
These are important and must be addressed for success. However, more is often needed to actually move the client toward the desired goal.
I’m sad to say that intellectual clarity does not automatically breed behavioral change. As a result, you can be crystal clear about what you want AND how to get it; yet remain unable to actually reach your goal.
Knowing what you need to do, and being able to do it, are two distinct phases of reaching any desired outcome.
Only rarely is this situation the result of laziness or a lack of commitment. More often than not, it is due to an objection or concern about actually reaching the desired outcome. And for long term success as a coach, you must know how to identify these objections and how to address them.
NLP Loves Objections: They Are The
Gateway To Transformation
Objections become a problem for the coach when they are approached incorrectly. So it is imperative that you can recognize these four components:
There is an objection
What the objection is
How to find it
How to successfully answer the objection so it’s no longer an issue
Getting started with NLP skills allows you to address objections easily and quickly.
Understanding the Enneagram adds more power to whatever kind of coach you may be, or wish to be. It also opens the door to greater personal happiness and contentment.
Having the Enneagram as one of your of core tools is immensely helpful to long term success. You’ll be able to assess your client’s core issues very quickly. And that means generating more return clients and even more fabulous referrals.
The Problem With A Private Coaching Business
As a solo-preneur, or owner of a small coaching business, you soon discover:
What it takes to keep the business up and running and financially successful
How much hard work it takes to keep a steady stream of clients pouring in
The amount of time, energy, and money spent creating fresh marketing funnels that can prove their worth & effectiveness
I’ve found there is an easier way to create your success, both professionally and financially. I’m not saying you won’t have to engage in these marketing activities. They are part and parcel of survival in today’s marketplace economy.
BUT … there is another path to professional and financial success. And it’s a path you might want to consider traveling FIRST.
Before hopping on the marketing wagon (which you will have to do sooner or later), get the fundamental ingredients for a real and satisfying success as a premiere coach,no matter which kind you may wish to be.
The Solution To Your Coaching Success
The more tools you have in your skill set, the higher the probability of your immediate success rate with clients.
And when your client views their time with you as a success,
that means return clients, great referrals,
and more financial stability.
So first, before anything else, invest your time, money and precious life energy in what will bring you the most long term return on your investment.
In this second installment, let’s take a look at NLP, your biology, and spiritual healing.
In my previous post What Could NLP Possibly Have To Do With Spirituality, we took a look at how NLP can support the quest for living a more spiritually oriented life.
The article noted that NLP is known for it’s use of language to help bridge the gapbetween a client’s desired state and their current state. And it does this by tapping into the brain’s power to create new neural pathways.
In this case, the client wants help in bridging the gap between being both a human being and a spiritual being.
What You Should Know About Biology &
The Power Of Your Cells
We all have a mind and a body.
So let’s check out the body’s influence on our desire to evolve and live into a more spiritually informed life. I’m talking here about folks who want more mindfulness, presence, and awareness integrated into their daily activities.
To help us better understand why this is so difficult, let me reference Dr. Bruce Lipton, the creator of The Biology of Perception videos.
In his YouTube videos, Dr. Lipton states that the cells in your body are programmed to do only two things: either grow or protect.
The cell can be in growth mode. That means moving toward positive signals or nutrients.
OR, the cell can be in protection mode. That means moving away from negative signals or toxins.
It seems the whole physical system is set up on an either/or basis. It operates like an on/off switch. It’s not like a dimmer mechanism that flows between on and off.
Unfortunately, ‘flow’ is what folks into meditation, mindfulness, contemplation and living a spiritually infused life are actually asking for.
They want to seamlessly flow between the tasks and responsibilities of being human AND the joys of being divine love and compassion.
BUT … the more protection the cell determines it needs, the less growth it can make. No matter what’s going on, for the cells, it’s all about survival first.
The Desire To Stay Safe
vs. The Desire To Risk Beyond The Known
Dr. Lipton says that ‘perception rewrites genes’. If he’s correct, how you perceive things can affect your biology, brain, and behavior. Wow! That is a very amazing thing to consider.
Remember the three sets of conflicting guidelinesidentified in the last post? And how we almost always find ourselves struggling over which guideline to follow?
I’ll share them again so they’re fresh in your mind.
Human Self: Keep moving & go after what you want. Divine Self: Stay still & be grateful for what is.
Human Self: Focus on the future & expect to get what you want Divine Self: Focus on the present & let things be as they are.
Human Self: Heal your wounds from the past. Divine Self: You are perfect as you are.
We struggle with these because we view them as contradictory and incompatible.
As we struggle to make a choice, it feels like a real battle in our body – stressful, frustrating, and confusing. Which will win our energy and commitment?
Perceiving these guidelines with mindfulness and presence would be approaching them as complementary.
Remember the cells? When they’re healthy, they can stay balanced, growing when needed, and protecting when needed. No fight. Just responding to the call of the moment.
You can transform your perception of these contradictory guidelines to actually being complementary to each other. You can learn to perceive them as a working partnership which in fact they actually are.
Embracing this understanding can free you to create a new neural pathway in the brain. And you can embrace them most easily with the support of language & imagination.
And these are the cornerstones of the NLP model for accelerated behavioral change.
Not Sure Brain Cells Can Grow New Neural Networks?
Here’s the link to a 42 second YouTube video showing a time lapse of a neural network growing over 170 hours. CLICK BELOW TO WATCH
So what can trigger the creation of a new neural pathway? How can combining NLP, your biology & spiritual healing cause this happen?
Transforming the new idea into language & then into imagination.
Of course, the new perception has to be strong enough to actually stimulate the brain into action. That can take a long time. However, NLP can help you speed up the process. It is truly worth checking out.
Please CLICK HERE to save your spot at my FREE 30 Minute Webinar NLP & Spiritual Healing, August 6th, 9 am PST.
If you miss it, not to worry. If it’s past August 6th, the above link should direct you how to view the replay.
Is there any connection between NLP & spiritual healing? Interesting question. Let’s say the answer is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
NLPhas to do with the mind.
Spirituality has to do with something greater than the mind.
NLP is great at bridging the gapbetween problems and their solutions.
Spiritualityoffers a taste of what lies on the other side of the gap between being human and being divine.
If you believe we humans beings are also divine beings, a specific conundrum arises.
Whatever language a person uses to reference their religious or spiritual life, they are using words. NLP is the art of utilizing languageto transform a perceived problem into its desired solution.
The ‘neuro’ part of Neuro-Linguistic Programming has the goal of accessing the brain’s neuroplasticity. When directed to do so, the brain is capable of creating new neural pathways tocarry the new perceptions your clients (or you) wants to have.
The Emergence Of Bewildering Advice
Being both human and divine generates some confusing and paradoxical guidelines. You’ve heard them all. But you may not realize how they influence the way you live, make decisions, and try to resolve the hard challenges that keep arising in daily life.
Here are 3 of the most confusing sets of guidelines for being successful, happy AND peaceful: Continue reading →
Today’s clients want change fast which means efficient communication. In our everyday world, speed has become king. And personal growth is not immune to this desire.
Speed is in high demand. And on top of that, you may find yourself dealing with time constraints also imposed on the client’s desire for personal growth & professional development.
This reality is forcing coaches to learn how to work faster, more efficiently, and most important, remain as effective as ever in producing long term results.
The key to handling this conundrum is discovering and embracing the art of rapport.
Efficient communication can be disrupted when you become:
Secretly ambivalent about seeing new clients
Nervous about starting to get your coaching career off the ground
At a loss to understand why a very ‘easy’ client suddenly became ‘difficult’
Sensing you lost your client somewhere along the way and don’t know why or how
Afraid to take on a client who seems resistant to doing the work, yet wants the change they’re asking for
Exasperated, but suddenly confident that person falls into the category of being ‘uncoachable’
Certain your client isn’t ‘ready’ to do the work they need to do to get the change they want
Without The Skill To Develop & Maintain Rapport
You Can Reach Unhelpful Conclusions
These concerns have contributed to the development of three very unhelpful notions that block efficient communication. And my concern is that these ideas have become all too prevalent, and accepted as true, in the world of coaching.
Because these ideas provide the coach with a reason for the appearance of all of the above stated concerns, they have the power to interrupt the coaching process, often before it truly begins.
When left unchallenged, these ideas can become the stated reason why the coach is not able to get the client to their stated goal – leaving you, the coach, (and your client) feeling a bit lost, confused, and frustrated.
When a coach embraces these three ideas as the ‘truth’ about their client, the coach’s value and usefulness to the client can quickly fade into the background.
And this also leaves the coach feeling less than great about their skill, and often doubting their competence & capabilities.
Are you feeling a little pressured because clients are generally expecting quick results? If so, you may be at the effect of these 3 pervasive ideas. They can 1) disrupt efficient communication, 2) stymie your success and 3) cut you off from your professional creative power.
The 3 Ideas Sure To Disrupt Efficient Communication
Too frequently I hear the following 3 notions as the reason a client is not reaching their goal. And, why the coach is helpless to make it different.
The first most pervasive notion is that it is possible for a client to be ‘un-coachable’.
The second most pervasive notion is that the client isn’t ready to make the change they say they want.
And the third most pervasive notion is that the client doesn’t really want to change.
These all translate into the notion that somehow the problem is with the client. And that may or may not be the reality of the situation.
With the proper skills, these three ideas lose their power and sense of truthfulness.
This skill-set frees the coach to dive into the what is now an open book – and help the client keep moving toward their goal.
All clients automatically become ‘coachable’ when you know how to establish rapport with their unconscious mind.
This is the last day to sign up to attend My Free Webinar On July 23, 2019
Learn Why RAPPORT Is The Fundamental Key To Your Long Term Success
To enroll, please CLICK HERE.
If you can’t make it, not to worry. A recording will be available.
courtesy of www.PresenterMedia.com – Article by Ragini Michaels
Could you be underestimating the importance of building rapport in coaching? Here’s why it is extremely important; and why it is not to be overlooked:
Rapport is the number one key to having your clients return. Not only for a few follow up sessions. But calling you for help with new issues years later, again and again. They will remember you and court your guidance to help them navigate through new problems. And all of this based on the rapport you established the first time around.
Rapport is the number one key to unlockingyour client’s desire to shout your name to the rooftops with lavish and powerful referrals. They feel happy with how they felt in your presence. AND grateful you helped them get where they wanted to go. With great rapport, clients can hardly contain their joy and will sing your praises to everyone they know. (Ok. A bit of an exaggeration. But still, after 4 decades of private practice sustained by client referrals only, I can’t say it’s that much of an exaggeration.)
Rapport is the number one key to transforming the most difficult and resistant client into one of the easiest and most fun to work with. Knowing how to purposely build rapport can move the most recalcitrant person into wanting to give up the fight.This situation almost begs for your own creative juices to get involved. And that’s where it becomes fun to work with the previously thought to be ‘difficult and un-coachable’ client.
When I’ve asked coaching professionals if they agree with the importance of building rapport in coaching, this is what I hear again and again: ‘That’s a no-brainer.Of course it’s important’
Yet, when I ask how they know, for sure, they have rapport, I get a variety of interesting answers:
They seem to like me.
Well, they answer all my questions.
I’ve worked with their problem before, so my confidence inspires trust.
I listen a lot and am not intrusive.
I match them energetically and that’s all it takes.
My reputation precedes me, so of course they feel comfortable.
So, if what you’re doing is keeping your practice up and running, and growing, that’s great.
But if not, read on and I’ll share with you the real importance of building rapport in coaching. But first….
What is Rapport, Really?
Well, let me start with what rapport actually isn’t. It’s good to be clear about this. If you start to feel like you’re trying to push a square peg into a round hole, that’s a clue you don’t have it.
Rapport is not:
People answering your questions
Established automatically because of your background or reputation
Listening avidly and not asking too many questions.
Being from the same hometown, or having the same teachers.
People go to a coach for help in changing a wide range of things: behaviors, limiting beliefs, or debilitating and hurtful notions about who they think they are.
It is this conscious desire to change behavior that can bring them to an NLP Coach rather than a traditionally trained coach.
This is because an NLP Coach is not only trained in the art of skillful inquiry. They are also trained in the science of accelerated behavioral change.
When does the importance of building rapport in coaching becomes obvious? When you realize it’s theunconscious mind you have to work with. No behavioral change can happen without it’s blessing.
The Key To Accelerated Behavioral Change
Many avenues of personal growth rest on the notion that if you understand why what you’re doing isn’t working, you should be able to change it.
If your strategy is wrong and you generate a new one, you should then be free to do what you couldn’t do before.
If your belief is wrong and you can figure out the right belief, then you should be able to behave in the new ways it allows.
Up to a point, this is certainly true and a useful course of action. But how about after that point?
When behaviors don’t change and shifting beliefs and strategies don’t do the trick, another angle of vision is needed.
That angle becomes available in a fundamental NLP skill-set:
The skills for communicating not only with the client’s conscious mind, but with their unconscious mind as well.
Why is this extremely important to know?
It is the unconscious mind that has the power to embrace
OR veto your client’s conscious desire for change.
In NLP, building rapport means establishing trust – with the unconscious mind. And that’s what cinches the importance of building rapport in coaching.
Your client’s unconscious mind needs to trust YOU before it will explore the possibility of embracing that desired new behavior.
Rapport & Your Client’s Unconscious Mind
Your client’s conscious desire to change is what brings them to you asking for help. The unconscious mind’s desire is to keep things as they are.
The unconscious mind’s job is to protect the client. It operates out of an uncompromising commitment to safety and protection.
And this is what can make it so difficult, or seemingly impossible, for the client to get the change they want.
The unconscious mind can be completely unaware that a behavior is no longer working for the client.
So it operates under the notion that when something isn’t broken, don’t mess with it. Keeping the status quo is its favorite M.O.
When you have rapport with the unconscious mind, it trusts you. But more importantly, it will communicate with you.
As a coach, you want to be free to communicate directly with the mind that is in charge of behavior.
This reveals the importance of building rapport in coaching – and maintaining it throughout your session. Without it, the process of change can be much slower and stodgier than it needs to be.
If you’re interested in learning more, please CLICK HERE to sign up for my FREE 30 Minute Webinar –The Art Of Rapport – this coming Tuesday, July 23rd at 9 am PST.
A recording will be available, so be sure to sign up even if you can’t attend. And I’ll be including a free download – Tips For Creating Rapport.
I hope you found this interesting. If you’d like to chat with me personally, just go to www.Calendly.com/rm–10/30min to schedule a 30 minute free call at your convenience. I’d be delighted to meet you.
Beliefs are the glue that hold a personal reality in place. And when that reality gets stretched to its limits, the beliefs either break down, making space for something new, or settle into the shape of a conviction that cannot be moved or shaken.
Clients come in all shapes and sizes as do their beliefs. In addition, the way they relate to their beliefs is also quite varied. Here are a few tips for identifying where your client is in this vast spectrum, and how to respond:
Has your client questioned whether or not their beliefs are the TRUTH? Or do they just assume what they believe IS the truth and operate from that assumption?
Help your client explore alternative perspectives via the ‘as if’ question format: Now I know this isn’t the truth, but WHAT IF the opposite were the actual case? What new options might be there? Or how might you relate to things differently if you approached the situation with this alternative view?
Is it clear to you that they have thought about the validity of their belief and remain convinced that their belief is indeed the TRUTH.
Help your client think a bit more deeply by gently offering counterexamples that challenge their conviction as a universal truth. Keep it light and in the form of a question: What about the circumstance where (counterexample) happens? How do you imagine that can occur?
Some clients intellectually know that their beliefs are not true and that they limit them. BUT the beliefs still feel true in their bodies. This is confusing to most people and can evoke feelings of shame and a sense of failure and/or incompetence.
Help your client understand this is a great place to be and that it is now possible to get rid of that feeling of truth in the body. Explain that the belief still feels like a truth in the body because of the amount of emotional charge attached to it.
If you have permission from their system to clear out this belief because it limits them, you can proceed to an Energy Psychology tool or equivalent process. The objective is to choose a tool that will lower the emotional charge until the belief shifts from the felt sense of a truth back into simply a thought that they can act on or not.
There may be other categories of response to seemingly truthful beliefs as well. But these three seem to be most prevalent.
BASIC NOTIONS ABOUT BELIEFS & TRUTH
There are some basic notions about beliefs and truth to explore with your client when needed.
First, make sure your client can distinguish between a relative truth (one that has operating relevance in their personal life) versus an absolute truth (one that is true for everyone, or universally). Offering this distinction can open the door to greater possibilities, insights, and understandings.
For example, how they relate to pistachio ice cream (it’s the best to it sucks) offers a truth based on their own experience (bite of ice cream + like or dislike flavor + generalization out to all pistachio flavored things + the same response will be there for all people who eat pistachio ice cream). Obviously, not everyone experiences pistachio ice cream with the same response. Thus their experience is relative.
Experiences that fall into universal truth would be rain is wet, oranges are round, breathing is composed of an in-breath and an out-breath. These experiences are the same for all people.
Second, the introduction of this distinction creates awareness that the reason we form beliefs is because we can’t know the actual truth. When this is the case, we almost always will create a story or belief that helps us better navigate the unknown or unknowable. For example, beliefs about what happens after death, or deciding that Jane didn’t go out on a second date with Hal because he’s overweight.
Bringing conscious awareness to this distinction makes the freedom they’ve been seeking from the limitation/problem/challenge more available. And that is part of what brought them to see you in the first place, whether they consciously knew it or not.
Simply becoming aware that Belief IS NOT EQUAL To Truth can be incredibly freeing.
BELIEFS, TRUTH, AND POLARIZATION
Extreme polarization is increasingly common today. And with it, comes increased stress and anxiety. Why?
No fixed idea can become a permanent guide to happiness or peace of mind. Things evolve, growth happens, and things change.
When our beliefs are fixed, we lose the ability to navigate our lives and the world effectively.
Without flexibility, we cannot navigate the continually shifting twists and turns of life. And as we’re seeing, this can result in extreme reactive behavior (anger, violence, war), or giving way to giving up (sadness, despair, hopelessness, and helplessness).
Once your client knows intellectually that their belief is not THE truth and thus limiting them from accessing their full potential to respond, you’ve got a green light to go ahead and show your client how to drain that belief of all its power.
And be sure to remind them that they can direct their own process to re channel the released energy into a new form of expression that is of their own choice (curiosity, excitement, flexibility of viewpoint, etc).
Hope these tips have opened up a new door or two to better serving your clients with love and respect. The beauty of the journey is right there in the unfolding of their own unique process.
If you have any questions, or would like to know more, please give me a call at 425 462 4369.