Essentials For Getting Started With NLP To Grow Your Coaching Practice

Getting started with NLP could give you a big head start in the race for business. But most folks a row of business people ready to get started with NLP and one is breaking out ahead of the othersdon’t really know the real power of NLP.

Some folks think they’ve got NLP because they’ve heard about ‘eye cues’ and what they mean.  Or a bit about how to ‘build rapport’ by doing what the other is doing, or mirroring.

Well, those are a part of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.  But they totally miss the mark as to the real value of embracing  NLP. It is far more than just a set of tools for accelerated behavioral change.

Getting Started With NLP From The Bottom Up

Every body of knowledge has a foundation. That foundation is the core vision, mission, and values.  These inform the way the tools and techniques are built and supposed to be utilized.

It’s unfortunate NLP became so well known for its trail of effective techniques. In a way, it  cheated those interested in the real value of NLP as a model designed to elicit excellence from less than excellent behaviors or limited ways of thinking.

image of a brain uploading new information again and again, generating more potential for creativityEvery individual’s brain creates a model or mental representation of how that person views the world.  And it’s constantly adding to or subtracting from that representation.

The more a person interfaces with the multiple areas of life, the more creative and strategic their brain can become in generating and interweaving those models.

In other words, the more exposure to differing ways of experiencing the world, the more likely the individual is to be a strategic thinker who makes good choices.

“…You’ve got to have multiple models — because if you just have one or two that you’re using, the nature of human psychology is such that you’ll torture reality so that it fits your models, or at least you’ll think it does…It’s like the old saying, “To the man with only a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.”  – 

There are multiple models for mental health.  As a coach, you want to have multiple models for behavioral change and personal transformation.

Exposure To Multiple Mental Models
Keeps You Ahead Of The Crowd

Including various other bodies of knowledge can bring you a big payoff in return clients and more referrals. That’s because you’ll be able to help more people more effectively and efficiently.

In this way, you can enhance your client’s map of the world; expand it, loosen it up a bit, open upimage of a blueprint with pencil and ruler for coach to see architecture of client's inner landscape a few doors and windows that have been nailed shut.  This will enable them to have what they need to make the more wise and strategic decisions they’re requesting.

Of course you have to demonstrate to the unconscious mind that the new behavior, belief, strategy is in the best interest of the client as a whole person. Your clients want change.  But the current way they are viewing the world and themselves is the ultimate problem – and paradoxically –  the ultimate solution.

A Few Recommendations To Check Out

Of course, I’m going to recommend getting started with NLP as a great first step. But, here are just a few of the ‘mental models’ or building blocks, that can support you in helping your client expand their own model of the world, or personal map of reality.

      • NLP
      • Hypnosis
      • EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)image of many building block on an assembly line dropping into a box, your tool bag for helping your clients
      • TAT (Tapas Acupuncture Technique)
      • FO Holding (Frontal Occipital Holding)
      • Callahan Phobia Cure
      • HBLU (Healing From The Body Up)
      • Life Centered Therapy
      • Byron Katie’s 4 Questions
      • Meditation
      • Mindfulness
      • Contemplation
      • Mindset & The Brain
      • Brain Research
      • Traditional Therapeutic Models
      • Stimulus/Response Conditioning
      • Physiological Psychology
      • Leadership Development
      • Organizational Development
      • Human Resources Guidelines
      • Multiple Models For Spiritual Inquiry
      • The Architecture of Presence & Being Here Now
      • Paradox Management

Deciding to begin with NLP is a great first step to exploring mental models. This is because NLP gives you the tools to elicit your client’s mental model, the model that really counts.  And then shows you how to work within them.a woman with a hard hat and blueprint in hand she got from getting started with NLP and learning how to read other's model of the world

When you understand the architecture of your client’s inner landscape, it becomes pretty easy to help them get where they want to go.

After all, that is your promise, spoken or not.  So the more you know, the more quickly and effectively you can help your client reach their goal.



What To Do Next? 

For more information on my NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Training, just CLICK HERE.

And be sure to scroll down to the bottom and pick up your FREE E-book – Attention & Attitude Equal Conscious Coaching.

Meanwhile, may you continue to reshape your own map of the world to bring you all that you desire.

Much love,
Ragini

What Could NLP Possibly Have To Do With Spirituality?

Is there any connection between NLP & spiritual healing? Interesting question. Let’s say the answer is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’.

      • NLP has to do with the mind.
      • Spirituality has to do with something greater than the mind.
      • NLP is great at bridging the gap between problems and their solutions.
      • Spirituality offers a taste of what lies on the other side of the gap between being human and being divine.

If you believe we humans beings are also divine beings, a specific conundrum arises.

Whatever language a person uses to reference their religious or spiritual life, they are using words. NLP is the art of utilizing language to transform a perceived problem into its desired solution.

The ‘neuro’ part of Neuro-Linguistic Programming has the goal of accessing the brain’s neuroplasticity.   When directed to do so, the brain is capable of creating new neural pathways to carry the new perceptions your clients (or you) wants to have.

The Emergence Of Bewildering Advice

Being both human and divine generates some confusing and paradoxical guidelines.  You’ve heard them all. But you may not realize how they influence the way you live, make decisions, and try to resolve the hard challenges that keep arising in daily life.

Here are 3 of the most confusing sets of guidelines for being successful, happy AND peaceful: Continue reading

What’s The Importance Of Building Rapport In Coaching?

a red puzzle piece essential to completing the connection between the client and the coach

courtesy of www.PresenterMedia.com – Article by Ragini Michaels

Could you be underestimating the importance of building rapport in coaching?  Here’s why it is extremely important; and why it is not to be overlooked:

Rapport is the number one key to having your clients return.

Not only for a few follow up sessions. But calling you for help with new issues years later, again and again. They will remember you and court your guidance to help them navigate through new problems. And all of this based on the rapport you established the first time around.


Rapport is the number one key to unlocking your client’s desire to shout your name to the rooftops with lavish and powerful referrals.

They feel happy with how they felt in your presence. AND grateful you helped them get where they wanted to go. With great rapport, clients can hardly contain their joy and will sing your praises to everyone they know. (Ok. A bit of an exaggeration. But still, after 4 decades of private practice sustained by client referrals only, I can’t say it’s that much of an exaggeration.)


Rapport is the number one key to transforming the most difficult and resistant client into one of the easiest and most fun to work with.

Knowing how to purposely boxer_throwing_punches_anim_500_clr_6563build rapport can move the most recalcitrant person into wanting to give up the fight. This situation almost begs for your own creative juices to get involved.  And that’s where it becomes fun to work with the previously thought to be ‘difficult and un-coachable’ client.


When I’ve asked coaching professionals if they agree with the importance of building rapport in coaching, this is what I hear again and again: ‘That’s a no-brainer.  Of course it’s important’

Yet, when I ask how they know, for sure, they have rapport, I get a variety of interestingflip_a_coin_catch_500_clr_15516 answers:

  • They seem to like me.
  • Well, they answer all my questions.
  • I’ve worked with their problem before, so my confidence inspires trust.
  • I listen a lot and am not intrusive.
  • I match them energetically and that’s all it takes.
  • My reputation precedes me, so of course they feel comfortable.

So, if what you’re doing is keeping your practice up and running, and growing, that’s great.

But if not, read on and I’ll share with you the real importance of building rapport in coaching. But first….


What is Rapport, Really?

 

Well, let me start with what rapport actually isn’t. It’s good to be clear about this. If you start to feel like you’re trying to push a square peg into a round hole, that’s a clue you don’t have it.

Rapport is not:

  • Being liked.
  • People answering your questions
  • Established automatically because of your background or reputation
  • Listening avidly and not asking too many questions.
  • Being from the same hometown, or having the same teachers.

People go to a coach for help in changing a wide range of things: behaviors, limiting beliefs, or debilitating and hurtful notions about who they think they are.

It is this conscious desire to change behavior that can bring them to an NLP Coach rather than a traditionally trained coach.

This is because an NLP Coach is not only trained in the art of skillful inquiry.  They are also trained in the science of accelerated behavioral change.

When does the importance of building rapport in coaching becomes obvious? When you realize it’s the unconscious mind you have to work with. No behavioral change can happen without it’s blessing.


The Key To Accelerated Behavioral Change

Many avenues of personal growth rest on the notion that if you understand why what you’re doing isn’t working, you should be able to change it.

If your strategy is wrong and you generate a new one, you should then be free to do what you couldn’t do before.

If your belief is wrong and you can figure out the right belief, then you should be able to behave in the new ways it allows.

Up to a point, this is certainly true and a useful course of action. But how about after that woman_back_and_forth_questions_500_clr_12477point?

When behaviors don’t change and shifting beliefs and strategies don’t do the trick, another angle of vision is needed.

That angle becomes available in a fundamental NLP skill-set:

The skills for communicating not only with the client’s conscious mind, but with their unconscious mind as well.

Why is this extremely important to know?

It is the unconscious mind that has the power to embrace
OR veto your client’s conscious desire for change.

In NLP, building rapport means establishing trust – with the unconscious mind. And that’s what cinches the importance of building rapport in coaching.

Your client’s unconscious mind needs to trust YOU before it will explore the possibility of embracing that desired new behavior.


Rapport & Your  Client’s Unconscious Mind

Your client’s conscious desire to change is what brings them to you asking for help.  The unconscious mind’s desire is to keep things as they are.show_police_badge_PA_500_clr_3933

The unconscious mind’s job is to protect the client.  It operates out of an uncompromising commitment to safety and protection.

And this is what can make it so difficult, or seemingly impossible, for the client to get the change they want.

The unconscious mind can be completely unaware that a behavior is no longer working for the client.

So it operates under the notion that when something isn’t broken, don’t mess with it.  Keeping the status quo is its favorite M.O.

When you have rapport with the unconscious mind, it trusts you.
But more importantly, it will communicate with you.

As a coach, you want to be free to communicate directly with the mind that is in charge of behavior.

This reveals the importance of building rapport in coaching – and maintaining it throughout your session.  Without it, the process of change can be much slower and stodgier than it needs to be.


If you’re interested in learning more, please CLICK HERE to watch the replay of a FREE 30 Minute Webinar – The Art Of Rapport.

A recording will be available, so be sure to sign up even if you can’t attend.  And I’ll be including a free download – Tips For Creating Rapport.

I hope you found this interesting.  If you’d like to chat with me personally, just go to www.Calendly.com/rm–10/30min to schedule a 30 minute free call at your convenience. I’d be delighted to meet you.

Much love,
Ragini

 

 

 

Are Client’s Limitations The Problem? Or That They Believe They’re True?

We human beings are funny creatures.  Just because something arises in our mind – be it a thought or a feeling – we tend to assume it is telling us the truth.

So we accept our thought or emotion as accurate  which closes the door to perusing other possible interpretations to the experience.

This automatic assumption of accuracy leads us to believe the thought or feeling is the truth … and then we act accordingly, displaying behaviors from love and compassion to hate and violence.

People rarely take the time to make a distinction between a thought or feeling being accurate  vs. being valid.  Yet this little moment of inquiry can save oodles of time, drama, and suffering.

file0002125234983Accuracy implies a final truth.  No matter how I look at it, the answer is always the same.  There’s no variation and nothing else could change the fact of it.

Validity implies that if I stood in your shoes, I could also feel or think the same thing because that’s how things actually look from that point of view. 

When you can see things from multiple points of view, you can see for yourself that each viewpoint is indeed valid, but not accurate, or a final truth.

You discover all viewpoints are also incomplete. They lack the whole picture that truth requires by virtue of the fact that viewpoints only reflect the single view that naturally arises from the point where you’re standing.

Change where you’re standing, and your view changes automatically.

This is a powerful understanding to keep in mind, not only for your clients, but also for yourself.

Whether it’s overt or covert, helping your clients expand their perceptual flexibility (freedom to peruse multiple viewpoints) can speed up their ability to release limiting beliefs. This skill will move them forward more efficiently in their exploration of how to better live their lives.

What Can You Do?

Continue reading

Want To Be A Healer? But … Is It Really Possible To Heal Another?

The best answer I’ve ever found to this question is the word ‘Po’, coined by Edward DeBono, a modern non-Aristotelian logician.

‘Po’ means neither yes nor no. It means you are neither for nor against either possibility. It means moving beyond the no of logic (that leads you to the right answer), and the yes of belief systems (that make you feel you have the right answer).


‘Po’ positions you in the space surrounding either yes or no as the right answer.

‘Po’ deposits you at the home address of true creativity; that point of power where two opposites meet and merge into a new whole, a new insight, or a new guideline.



What Does This Have To Do With Healing?

Well, here’s the thing. The safest position to take on this question is ‘Po’. Let’s take a look at why I say this.

On the one hand, it sure looks like healers heal others when healing is defined as taking away painbutterfly-on-leaves-in-sun and suffering. If it’s physical pain, the release can be accomplished many ways: an aspirin, acupuncture, surgery, repairing broken links between organs, systems and the brain, and many more.

If it’s emotional pain, reducing that emotional challenge is definitely do-able with the newest Energy Psychology techniques such as Callahan Tapping, EFT, TFT, TAT and many others. You can rearrange the configuration of images, sound, and feeling that create the emotion via techniques from NLP or hypnosis in deep or waking trance. And of course, there’s the age old technique of  simply giving someone a hug or just reaching out and gently taking their hand.

If it’s mental pain, releasing fixed points of view that hamper perceptual flexibility can be accomplished by challenging presuppositions, introducing new models of meaning and purpose, or a simple re-education of how things actually work, like relationships or the fact that consequences are the other side of the coin of accountability.

So clearly healers can release pain in a variety of ways. Yet, here’s where a much more important question emerges; a question far more important for you as the healer than for the one being healed.

Who Is Doing The Healing?
Continue reading