Do you know when political polarization takes you over? Are you aware how it feels in your body? Is it possible you’re trying to get rid of a frightening dilemma by choosing one side of the political spectrum as better and more correct than the other side?
If so, these tips based on NLP and spiritual inquiry will help you return to a calmer and clearer space. This potentially explosive time for politics, and the form of government in general, creates a powerful opportunity. You have the chance to dramatically expand your awareness, presence, and consciousness moment to moment.
Embrace this tumultuous time and catapult your view of things to a new and more expanded perspective.
What does this current circumstance of political polarization offer you besides angst, anger, and confusion? It’s a great opportunity, if you wish it to be. Expand your desire to become more conscious into a daily, if not moment to moment, empowering practice. Simply watching the news can create this circumstance for you.
The goal is three-fold:
Being able to navigate the presence of such political turmoil with a new level of conscious awareness and calm.
Allowing conscious awareness and calm to emerge from the perspective (viewpoint) that frees you to remain balanced.
Embracing balance as the key that allows you to embrace and live the wisdom that being aware and present offer moment to moment.
Our rush to polarization is natural. It happens in the blink of an eye. It is an unconscious reaction.
Don’t judge yourself. In the midst of all the political polarization and rhetoric, you are automatically pulled to the position that matches your point of view. You want to honor your values. You want to take a stand FOR your values and AGAINST the opposing values.
This is the unconscious natural reaction to opposing points of view. One MUST be right and the other wrong.
Yet, conscious awareness demands you remain calm and present to what is – in this instance – two opposing viewpoints.
Remember that balance is the key – if not outwardly, then inwardly. To evoke it, simply do the following:
First, pay attention. Are you aware you’re getting unbalanced on the inside due to the apparent imbalance you’re viewing on the outside?
The Larger Whole to which we ultimately belong, call it what you wish, demands balance.
This is unfortunately not negotiable. And, yes, it’s hard to accept that the strategy this larger Whole employs to restore balance is the continual arise and fall of opposing points of view.Continue reading →
In this second installment, let’s take a look at NLP, your biology, and spiritual healing.
In my previous post What Could NLP Possibly Have To Do With Spirituality, we took a look at how NLP can support the quest for living a more spiritually oriented life.
The article noted that NLP is known for it’s use of language to help bridge the gapbetween a client’s desired state and their current state. And it does this by tapping into the brain’s power to create new neural pathways.
In this case, the client wants help in bridging the gap between being both a human being and a spiritual being.
What You Should Know About Biology &
The Power Of Your Cells
We all have a mind and a body.
So let’s check out the body’s influence on our desire to evolve and live into a more spiritually informed life. I’m talking here about folks who want more mindfulness, presence, and awareness integrated into their daily activities.
To help us better understand why this is so difficult, let me reference Dr. Bruce Lipton, the creator of The Biology of Perception videos.
In his YouTube videos, Dr. Lipton states that the cells in your body are programmed to do only two things: either grow or protect.
The cell can be in growth mode. That means moving toward positive signals or nutrients.
OR, the cell can be in protection mode. That means moving away from negative signals or toxins.
It seems the whole physical system is set up on an either/or basis. It operates like an on/off switch. It’s not like a dimmer mechanism that flows between on and off.
Unfortunately, ‘flow’ is what folks into meditation, mindfulness, contemplation and living a spiritually infused life are actually asking for.
They want to seamlessly flow between the tasks and responsibilities of being human AND the joys of being divine love and compassion.
BUT … the more protection the cell determines it needs, the less growth it can make. No matter what’s going on, for the cells, it’s all about survival first.
The Desire To Stay Safe
vs. The Desire To Risk Beyond The Known
Dr. Lipton says that ‘perception rewrites genes’. If he’s correct, how you perceive things can affect your biology, brain, and behavior. Wow! That is a very amazing thing to consider.
Remember the three sets of conflicting guidelinesidentified in the last post? And how we almost always find ourselves struggling over which guideline to follow?
I’ll share them again so they’re fresh in your mind.
Human Self: Keep moving & go after what you want. Divine Self: Stay still & be grateful for what is.
Human Self: Focus on the future & expect to get what you want Divine Self: Focus on the present & let things be as they are.
Human Self: Heal your wounds from the past. Divine Self: You are perfect as you are.
We struggle with these because we view them as contradictory and incompatible.
As we struggle to make a choice, it feels like a real battle in our body – stressful, frustrating, and confusing. Which will win our energy and commitment?
Perceiving these guidelines with mindfulness and presence would be approaching them as complementary.
Remember the cells? When they’re healthy, they can stay balanced, growing when needed, and protecting when needed. No fight. Just responding to the call of the moment.
You can transform your perception of these contradictory guidelines to actually being complementary to each other. You can learn to perceive them as a working partnership which in fact they actually are.
Embracing this understanding can free you to create a new neural pathway in the brain. And you can embrace them most easily with the support of language & imagination.
And these are the cornerstones of the NLP model for accelerated behavioral change.
Not Sure Brain Cells Can Grow New Neural Networks?
Here’s the link to a 42 second YouTube video showing a time lapse of a neural network growing over 170 hours. CLICK BELOW TO WATCH
So what can trigger the creation of a new neural pathway? How can combining NLP, your biology & spiritual healing cause this happen?
Transforming the new idea into language & then into imagination.
Of course, the new perception has to be strong enough to actually stimulate the brain into action. That can take a long time. However, NLP can help you speed up the process. It is truly worth checking out.
Please CLICK HERE to save your spot at my FREE 30 Minute Webinar NLP & Spiritual Healing, August 6th, 9 am PST.
If you miss it, not to worry. If it’s past August 6th, the above link should direct you how to view the replay.
Is there any connection between NLP & spiritual healing? Interesting question. Let’s say the answer is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
NLPhas to do with the mind.
Spirituality has to do with something greater than the mind.
NLP is great at bridging the gapbetween problems and their solutions.
Spiritualityoffers a taste of what lies on the other side of the gap between being human and being divine.
If you believe we humans beings are also divine beings, a specific conundrum arises.
Whatever language a person uses to reference their religious or spiritual life, they are using words. NLP is the art of utilizing languageto transform a perceived problem into its desired solution.
The ‘neuro’ part of Neuro-Linguistic Programming has the goal of accessing the brain’s neuroplasticity. When directed to do so, the brain is capable of creating new neural pathways tocarry the new perceptions your clients (or you) wants to have.
The Emergence Of Bewildering Advice
Being both human and divine generates some confusing and paradoxical guidelines. You’ve heard them all. But you may not realize how they influence the way you live, make decisions, and try to resolve the hard challenges that keep arising in daily life.
Here are 3 of the most confusing sets of guidelines for being successful, happy AND peaceful: Continue reading →
Heard Of NLP And Energy Psychology? Wonder Why These Two Mental Emotional Health Models Actually Make Great Allies?
NLP and Energy Psychology offer practitioners new options to fill the increasing demand for accelerated behavioral change.
Today’s mental and emotional health considerations bring new challenges – resulting in the demand for more short term engagement resulting in greater long term results.
Our fast paced world is forcing all of us to move faster, be quicker on our feet, and stay focused on innovation and what’s next, just to keep up – even if we’re wise enough to know it’s not smart, healthy, or wise.
NLP & Energy Psychology:
New Skill Sets For New & Changing Times
Beliefsabout our capabilities, possibilities, sense of identity, and emerging spiritual realities are both expanding and contracting, creating a stronger sense of conflict and fear.
These shifts are forcing today’s mental and emotional health practitioner to move more efficiently and effectively. To me, that means working at a new and deeper level with both conscious awareness and acceptance.
That deeper level is the unconsciousmind. This moves us past ‘just talk’ to ‘talk from a different angle’.
NLP has been said to revitalize the power
of traditional talk therapy.
Shifting external forces are combining with the reactivity of confused & frightened internal forces (thoughts & feelings). Together, these continue to shape and reshape our expectations and sense of direction individually and globally.
This creates a fast paced pressure to create a better world (and save the one we have). People simply don’t have the time, money, or energy to invest in long term and expensive therapy.
People want their desired changes to happen fast! today! now!
and preferably yesterday!
People want their brain to be on the same page as their desires. Limiting beliefs & fears can make that impossible. Unless …
the desired outcome is coded into the brain as a better option than the old unwanted limited beliefs that limit capabilities, possibility, and sense of self. Here’s how NLP and Energy Psychology come to the rescue.
The Three Reasons
There are three reasons why these two models of mental emotional health can be of great value to you as a coach or consultant. And this applies whether you work with any individuals, teams, or businesses.
ONE: Limiting beliefs are the cause of more problems than the average person imagines. NLP technology can pinpoint these beliefs very specifically and quickly. This saves your client valuable time, while freeing them from the burden of unnecessary anxiety & stress.
Core beliefs are those beliefs that are effecting everything . These are most often at the root of most issues. NLP has the tools
to quickly & easily identify these beliefs.
BUT … more importantly NLP trains it’s practitioners in the art of communicating with the hidden unconscious mind . This is critical. Why?
Because it is the unconscious mind that has the power to accept or veto any new behavior, belief, or sense of self.
Having the skill to get the client’sunconscious mind on your side means faster and more lasting change. And this usually results in more clarity, and access to inner guidance for your client.
TWO: People are very hesitant to share an idea they intellectually KNOW is not true, but is ruling their behavior anyway. What holds these limiting ideas in place even though you absolutely KNOW they are limiting, stupid, and self-sabotaging your goals?
It is the heightened emotional charge on these kind of constricting ideas that hold the limitations in place.
Energy Psychology zeros in on those now identified limiting beliefs your clients intellectually KNOW are not true, but FEEL true anyway.
These tools can then radically reduce the heightened emotional charge holding the constriction and limitation in place.
Energy Psychology tools can shift how the limiting belief FEELS in the body. And this shifts the client’s relationship to that belief. It’s no long a truth. The reduction of the emotional charge has reshaped it into just an ideathey used to believe, but now seems almost irrelevant.
Most EP tools seem counter intuitive to the client. But if you have the power of rapporton your side (established through communicating with the unconscious mind) , most are quite willing to follow your guidance and engage in an EP process.
THREE: NLP can then take the new belief the client wanted to replace the old one and create a new neurological coding in the brain.This will cause the brain to fire off the better option and flow right past the coding that used to fire the old unwanted belief.
The human process will ALWAYS choose the best option available.
If this is true, the quest for change means creating more and better options for response.
And creating them as quickly and efficiently as possible with the most lasting results.
This is why i’ts time for NLP and Energy Psychology to partner up and become the most common skill-set in everyone’s tool kit offering accelerated behavioral change.
If you’d like to learn more, please check out my FREE Webinar on July 9th at 9 am PST.
Reality is a funny word. It’s very personal and it’s very impersonal. That means it’s relative and it’s universal. As a coach, counselor, or therapist, it’s your job to discriminate between the two and never assume you know your client’s perception of reality; nor assume that your perception of reality is better than, or more correct, than theirs.
These kinds of assumptions make you blind to (or at least forgetful of) the necessity of not only discovering your client’s view of reality, but also honoring it – in your language, in how you explore strategies or solutions, and in your overall approach to the issue at hand.
Deeply Understanding The Nature Of Personal Reality
Just grasping the nature of personal reality is often mind-boggling, much less waxing philosophic on the nature of absolute reality. So let’s just stick to the reality we personally create for ourselves.
NLP assumes personal reality has a structure that is not laid in stone. Rather its nature is flexibility. In this way it is impersonal. The content however is very personal, or relative to the individual experiencing it.
Yet, years of experience under your belt (or even when you’re just beginning), can cause you to feel that you know things for certain. And this can produce difficulties.
Why? Certainty closes the door to further exploration; and this can block your ability to recognize, accept, respect, and meet your client in the reality where they live.
Why Certainty Kills Off Creative Exploration
When an idea hardens into a certainty, it starts to FEEL like Truth. When you feel you know the truth about your client, you are at risk of missing your client’s truth (as well as your own). You are at risk of missing how their perception of the truth is holding their personal reality in place, imprisoning them and creating their pain and suffering.
When your personal reality loses its flexibility via certainty, it is hard to adapt to the flow of the creative personal realities streaming by from your clients. The bad news is that your professional expertise and experience can easily create this situation. The good news is that with a little bit of awareness and willingness, you can reclaim your perceptual flexibility and increase your capacity to work within your client’s personal reality instead of your own.
The Paradox: Challenging Your Certainty While Staying Confident & Sure
Years ago when I was living in an ashram in India, I remember the most empowering thing I learned while participating in a spiritual therapy training. The leader said that anytime I found myself saying ‘I want X for my client’, I had slipped into doing therapy for myself rather than my client. It was a disturbing thought. But it changed my notion of what helping another person actually meant.
In those days, I was certain I understood the mind and how it worked. I was certain that all I had to do was deliver this information to my clients and they could then change – if they wanted to badly enough.
Of course, I was totally wrong. But the reason I was wrong was because I was certain that I knew the truth, the way things actually were. I can chalk that up to youth and inexperience, of course. But I also know how easy it is, even today, to fall into this desire for the comfort and confidence that certainty and conviction offer.
The most powerful antidote for certainty is doubt. Just a little bit of questioning shakes up certainty enough to help you regain the professional balance required to truly help another person learn they can actually help themselves.
In the presence of certainty, doubt brings you back to the understanding that all personal realities are unique and therefore different. This requires you to 1) be present and 2) be willing to accept what you find. This reopens the door to your perceptual flexibility and inspired creativity.
The Man Who Wore His Past As A Blanket
Not long ago, I was working with a client whose life was still being dominated by his past. He understood that what he’d been taught as a child from a fundamentalist church and family was no longer what he believed. But, he couldn’t seem to get away from it. He knew it wasn’t true intellectually, but the teachings still felt like the TRUTH.
He had started to explore a specific aspect of his life when I had the thought to check out where he stored his past experiences. I asked him to point in the direction of his past. He said it didn’t have a direction. So I asked him to point in the direction of his future and he pointed straight ahead of him. So I asked him again to tell me where his past was and he then shared, “All around me – like a blanket.”
Now I’ve worked with enough clients to KNOW this was a major sticking point. Your past should be behind you, where it belongs. I KNEW that if I worked with exploring how to do something different with his experience of the past that I could get more of the change he was looking for. I got intrigued with the challenge of how I could change it.
Then I remembered that the client hadn’t asked me to change how he stored his past. He asked me to help him explore how to enjoy his retirement. This caused me to doubt my conviction that changing direction right then and exploring how he stored his past was the road to travel
So I put my certainty aside, despite the fact that working with time storage in the past had been really powerful. But I was determined to honor my commitment to following my client’s lead. So we went ahead and did the piece of work he’d just started.
At the end of it, when the client felt the change he’d been after that day had happened, I got curious and casually asked him where his past was now. Lo and behold, he said, “Oh, it’s behind me now.” That was it. He wasn’t surprised or amazed. It had just shifted on its own as a result of the work he’d been doing that day.
It reminded me once again how every person has everything they need to make the changes they want and to get to the outcomes they desire. My only job is to help them discover and utilize these amazing inner resources. And more often than not, they know exactly how to get it done much better than I do.
The Joys Of Honoring Your Client’s Reality
It had always a great feeling to think I’d helped someone make a change and get the outcome they wanted. But somewhere inside, I actually felt like they made the change because of me and my expertise. Well, of course, that was half the truth. The other half was that it’s always all the client’s doing.
It’s a paradox, of course. Both are needed. The guide and the person wanting direction. But when you guide your clients back to themselves as the source of the change, the inspiration, and the motivation to get it done, the joy inside multiples geometrically.
And, in my opinion, when you really know this to be a true – when you are certain – without a doubt – that it is the client doing all the hard work, that truly wonderful sense of being of service arises, pure and simple.
For me, it is the delight of all delights. Like the teacher who gets thrilled when the light suddenly shines in the student’s eyes as they get the point, or connect the dots, and finally understand. It is this mixture of grace and gratitude that is the real payoff of staying true to working within your client’s personal reality.
Beliefs are the glue that hold a personal reality in place. And when that reality gets stretched to its limits, the beliefs either break down, making space for something new, or settle into the shape of a conviction that cannot be moved or shaken.
Clients come in all shapes and sizes as do their beliefs. In addition, the way they relate to their beliefs is also quite varied. Here are a few tips for identifying where your client is in this vast spectrum, and how to respond:
Has your client questioned whether or not their beliefs are the TRUTH? Or do they just assume what they believe IS the truth and operate from that assumption?
Help your client explore alternative perspectives via the ‘as if’ question format: Now I know this isn’t the truth, but WHAT IF the opposite were the actual case? What new options might be there? Or how might you relate to things differently if you approached the situation with this alternative view?
Is it clear to you that they have thought about the validity of their belief and remain convinced that their belief is indeed the TRUTH.
Help your client think a bit more deeply by gently offering counterexamples that challenge their conviction as a universal truth. Keep it light and in the form of a question: What about the circumstance where (counterexample) happens? How do you imagine that can occur?
Some clients intellectually know that their beliefs are not true and that they limit them. BUT the beliefs still feel true in their bodies. This is confusing to most people and can evoke feelings of shame and a sense of failure and/or incompetence.
Help your client understand this is a great place to be and that it is now possible to get rid of that feeling of truth in the body. Explain that the belief still feels like a truth in the body because of the amount of emotional charge attached to it.
If you have permission from their system to clear out this belief because it limits them, you can proceed to an Energy Psychology tool or equivalent process. The objective is to choose a tool that will lower the emotional charge until the belief shifts from the felt sense of a truth back into simply a thought that they can act on or not.
There may be other categories of response to seemingly truthful beliefs as well. But these three seem to be most prevalent.
BASIC NOTIONS ABOUT BELIEFS & TRUTH
There are some basic notions about beliefs and truth to explore with your client when needed.
First, make sure your client can distinguish between a relative truth (one that has operating relevance in their personal life) versus an absolute truth (one that is true for everyone, or universally). Offering this distinction can open the door to greater possibilities, insights, and understandings.
For example, how they relate to pistachio ice cream (it’s the best to it sucks) offers a truth based on their own experience (bite of ice cream + like or dislike flavor + generalization out to all pistachio flavored things + the same response will be there for all people who eat pistachio ice cream). Obviously, not everyone experiences pistachio ice cream with the same response. Thus their experience is relative.
Experiences that fall into universal truth would be rain is wet, oranges are round, breathing is composed of an in-breath and an out-breath. These experiences are the same for all people.
Second, the introduction of this distinction creates awareness that the reason we form beliefs is because we can’t know the actual truth. When this is the case, we almost always will create a story or belief that helps us better navigate the unknown or unknowable. For example, beliefs about what happens after death, or deciding that Jane didn’t go out on a second date with Hal because he’s overweight.
Bringing conscious awareness to this distinction makes the freedom they’ve been seeking from the limitation/problem/challenge more available. And that is part of what brought them to see you in the first place, whether they consciously knew it or not.
Simply becoming aware that Belief IS NOT EQUAL To Truth can be incredibly freeing.
BELIEFS, TRUTH, AND POLARIZATION
Extreme polarization is increasingly common today. And with it, comes increased stress and anxiety. Why?
No fixed idea can become a permanent guide to happiness or peace of mind. Things evolve, growth happens, and things change.
When our beliefs are fixed, we lose the ability to navigate our lives and the world effectively.
Without flexibility, we cannot navigate the continually shifting twists and turns of life. And as we’re seeing, this can result in extreme reactive behavior (anger, violence, war), or giving way to giving up (sadness, despair, hopelessness, and helplessness).
Once your client knows intellectually that their belief is not THE truth and thus limiting them from accessing their full potential to respond, you’ve got a green light to go ahead and show your client how to drain that belief of all its power.
And be sure to remind them that they can direct their own process to re channel the released energy into a new form of expression that is of their own choice (curiosity, excitement, flexibility of viewpoint, etc).
Hope these tips have opened up a new door or two to better serving your clients with love and respect. The beauty of the journey is right there in the unfolding of their own unique process.
If you have any questions, or would like to know more, please give me a call at 425 462 4369.
Do you have clients who are stuck in moving forward in one area of their life, or many? Do you have clients who get so nervous when they have to do something out of their comfort area? Do you wish you could help them lighten their anxiety or embarrassment? You can. Just think phobias of shame and fear.
Many people grew up with a lot of criticism and shame, and have phobias they are totally unaware are actually running their lives. Think of any block that a client has as a potential phobia, and you will see how helpful this approach will be for your work.
There are the usual phobias of spiders, small places, etc., and these can be addressed here. But the phobias that are the most useful are the subtle ones that operate around failure, success, having a relationship, getting a new job, and being relaxed in social situations that are so helpful to your clients.
If you’re in the Seattle area, come have some fun with us as we: Name that phobia… and release it with 3 basic tools from Energy Psychology.
Sponsored by WMHCA (Washington Mental Health Counselors Association). March 25,2016. 9 to 4:30. CEU’s Available. For more details and registration, CLICK HERE..
We human beings are funny creatures. Just because something arises in our mind – be it a thought or a feeling – we tend to assume it is telling us the truth.
So we accept our thought or emotion as accurate which closes the door to perusing other possible interpretations to the experience.
This automatic assumption of accuracy leads us to believe the thought or feeling is the truth … and then we act accordingly, displaying behaviors from love and compassion to hate and violence.
People rarely take the time to make a distinction between a thought or feeling being accurate vs. being valid. Yet this little moment of inquiry can save oodles of time, drama, and suffering.
Accuracy implies a final truth. No matter how I look at it, the answer is always the same. There’s no variation and nothing else could change the fact of it.
Validity implies that if I stood in your shoes, I could also feel or think the same thing because that’s how things actually look from that point of view.
When you can see things from multiple points of view, you can see for yourself that each viewpoint is indeed valid, but not accurate, or a final truth.
You discover all viewpoints are also incomplete. They lack the whole picture that truth requires by virtue of the fact that viewpoints only reflect the single view that naturally arises from the point where you’re standing.
Change where you’re standing, and your view changes automatically.
This is a powerful understanding to keep in mind, not only for your clients, but also for yourself.
Whether it’s overt or covert, helping your clients expand their perceptual flexibility (freedom to peruse multiple viewpoints) can speed up their ability to release limiting beliefs. This skill will move them forward more efficiently in their exploration of how to better live their lives.
Time’s a funny thing, isn’t it? Some days there’s not enough to get everything done. On other days, we have too much of it on our hands.
It can move terrifyingly fast – or excruciatingly slow. You can waste it, save it, or run out of it. And, it can even completely disappear freeing us to just enjoy ’what is’ without a glance toward the past or future.
When most clients enter my office, they aren’t really coming with a dream they want to manifest, a confusion they want to clarify, or a concrete goal they want to reach. I say this because they plop down on my big, comfy couch, reach for their glass of water, and start to talk about what’s wrong, painful, or just not working.
The Ever Present Element of Time
When we share our stories, the element of time is always present. The issues we want to discuss and change have actually happened somewhere in the past, or are living out there in a possible and usually terrifying potential future.
When you realize that nothing in your client’s mind exists outside of time, you’ve opened the door to a powerful addition to your professional tool bag.
Exploring problems, predicaments, and dilemmas from the angle of time offers an easy way to quickly help your clients find their own clarifications and solutions.
Anything arising in the mind is always about the past or the future. Even when we think we’re in the moment, the fact that we’re thinking indicates we’re not. Confusing? Continue reading →