How To Observe Your Drama vs. Being In It

Many times, you can feel yourself being assaulted by memories of the past.  I say assaulted because it feels as if you’re being forced to re-experience them completely.

And, in fact, you actually are.  You have been transported right back into the event and are thus subject to all the ups and downs of the experience.

Now if it’s a pleasant experience, it’s usually sweet; unless it catapults you into nostalgia or grief at its loss.  If it’s an unpleasant or painful experience to begin with, it’s definitely not fun, and often not even useful, to revisit the event in this way.

Your experience of these past events (whether positive or negative) reflects the development of one of two basic life skills you are wise to develop. If you want to continue learning how to live a happier, more mindful and engaging daily life, these skills are essential – for both you and your clients.

The Two Basic Skills Everyone Can Consciously Develop

Being able to go back into the past and re-experience an event is a powerful and useful skill.  However, if you don’t realize that you’re using this skill, it can make the past seen more present and more difficult to handle.

The balancing skill is the ability to step out of an event and free yourself from having to experience the emotions, thoughts, and perspectives associated with it.

These two skills are essential to measuring our capacity to be happy human beings.

To be fully alive is to first: have experiences.  Second is to gain the wisdom and insight tucked deep within those experiences.DSCN5220

Can you consciously step into an event and access the thoughts, emotions, and perspectives it carries?

Can you consciously step out of an event and see it from an observer/neutral position thus gaining access to a new perspective on the event?

Once you have developed these skills for yourself, you can more easily recognize their presence, or absence, in your clients. People struggling  Continue reading